Trying to forget, trying to become non sentient... It's not easy ye know... Always unwelcome thoughts come to me. I chase them, but five others take their places. I grind them down, and still others flow in. I must not continue down that road... And still I feel myself walking it. It's dark down here. Silent too. Way too silent... A fork is before me. The way is clear I can choose either path, but I feel both may lead me to the same exact spot I don't want to reach.

Solitude. Loss. Betrayal. Those words were always abstract to me before. Now I feel them hang over me like the fabled sword. Some have already stung me. Some may still do it. Where is the hope? Hate to break it to you, but there is none. Just illusions of a well being that last a moment and goes away as fast as it appeared.

I had to take a descision today. I've chosen not to choose. Not to do anything. Only one person knows what I am talking about, and it's better that way. Now give me that shovel, I have to bury something...

It's time to close the book, go to bed, and sleep a dreamless sleep. Like it matters anyway